short (19 minutes) : Esther Perel – desire in long-term relationships
long (40 minutes) : Esther Perel – The Sweet Spot Between
love & work : Esther Perel – “Erotic Intelligence” at The Feast 2014
more tracks below 2nd pic
A: So are these songs about how I feel about you? Or songs you would pick because you like them?
M: They are songs I would pick because I like how they make you feel about me.
A: So what´s your thing?
A: Oh God…
M: Someone´s gotta do it!
A: Yeah yeah I know………..!
A: But…. but…. you have no SHAME!
M: SOMEone has to stay relaxed around here!
A: Yeah yeah oh why do you have to be so…
M: So WHAT?
A: So pretty?
M: Oh here we go AGAIN!
A: I´m sorry….
M: No you´re not! Okay you know maybe I just tend to lend myself to your wrist, but it´s not my neurons sparkling all over the place when you cut me from the page!
So, back to the music:
1st: it´s gushy.
2nd: it´s hips and shoulders and swirls and jiggles. Not fists or kicks or head-butts. More hugs. Reproduction, interaction. The gentle stuff. The goods. With laughter and noises.
3rd: I´m a sucker for words. And rythm. Surprise.
4th: Reception = highly dependent on mood. Could make you cry if you have a soft day.
A: Why do you have to say it this way?
M: Because that´s what I know it as. To know what you work with, you gotta name it! And then, once you´ve done that, you can see where your description misses something. And then you see the beauty of detail, the neverending revelations in anything you give yourself to. Receiving, passing on. Whatever it is you do with care: Reproduction. You are reproducing yourself in everything you do to find yourself again. It´s good to do it with care, whatever it is you care about. It´s exhausting, but rewarding, this life. If you participate.
A: I need to sleep sometimes, you know that.
M: Yeah, I know…
A: You are impatient.
M: You REALLY should stop blaming me for that. You are curious. You made me up, remember?
A: I remember I found you.
M: Of course. That´s SO me. Oh Look, I just invented myself! As far as I recall what you mostly so generously grant me with is: “Woops, I`m all crazy with emotion and not able to hold it together” or something similarly smart.
A: That changed. I understand you better now.
M: Yeah, but on a bad day I wake up feeling I´m all your sexist thoughts in one character! If I was real, I could sue the hell out of you for sexual exploitation! If that was my idea. But I haven´t been harrassed really.
A: No, of course not. I worship you on any day. On some for the right, on others for the wrong reasons.
M: Maybe there are no right or wrong reasons. You don´t hurt me anymore. You understand that I´m pretty because I´m weak. And my weakness is what you love about me. Because you get to take care of it. And that´s healthy. Because it keeps you safe. Curiosity is rewarding. It´s about reading the scetch you made. It will tell you everything you need to know if you learn ways to ask. I´m the healthy part.
A: After therapy, yes.
M: What did you expect?
A: I don´t know. Something irritating.
M: Which is what you got.
A: At first. And then I started listening to you instead of looking at you.
M: Good tactic. In general. Well, you get it now, don´t you?
A: Uhm… no? Better, maybe, but not totally.
M: You don´t have to. It´s the same as everything else: You can get closer to something, but you cannot be something else. But you can circle. And while you circle, you leave traces in everything else.
Elbow – Ribcage
Avi Buffalo – One Last
A Tribe Called Quest – Electric Relaxation
George Benson – Affirmation by Wies Knipping
Breezin’ (George Benson) – Igor Presnyakov – acoustic interpretation
Buzzcocks – Moving Away From The Pulsebeat
Tori Amos – Desperado
Empowering human beauty: Matt Blum: the Nu Project